Last week I spent too much time watching TV shows online. I watched three episodes of The L Word and wished I knew enough about the backstory to fully understand what was going on.
Is Jenny always a psycho or is that a storyline? Is Shane sympathetic or not? What's the deal between Marlee Matlin's character and Jennifer Beales's character?
That was when I realized I need a new friend- or an android. I want an explainer, someone who knows everything I don't and has the patience and personality to fill in the gaps in my knowledge.
I know the information could be found on the internet, but sometimes I don't want to slog through the marshes of fan websites in search of what might not even be there.
This person- or robot- could explain TV shows and recount the plots of horror movies I'm too scared to see. I'm a willing listener when someone tells me an entire movie as long as it's one I wanted to see. If it's not, I get resentful.
The explainer would be able to see the difference and know immediately when s/he should stop explaining because I had enough.
I wouldn't abuse this capacity by treating the person like my own magic 8 ball. I'd restrict my questions to TV, movies, books, and pop culture.
I'm sure I'd have something to offer the explainer in return.