Oscars liveblog- I

Yay! It's starting!

Clips, a plethora of clips! I'm glad I saw these movies (except THE FIGHTER).

Okay, parody of INCEPTION- pretty cute. Alec Baldwin...I'm so sad I'll never be able to make out with you. Wait a second, didn't Mike Meyers do this for the MTV movie awards about 20 years ago?

Morgan Freeman, that's good. The dance of the bronw duck is cracking me up (but that might be because of the Jameson).

I still think they're gonna suck as MCs, and this schtick is going on a little too long.

Oh no, Anne's dress is not working. She doesn't have hips; why would she wear a dress that made her look she had twelve? James just said she looked beautiful and hip (heh).

This is really awkward, and they seem to be trying a bit too hard, and I just realized I need to become nicer or this will be a four-hour malice fest.

BUT HOW CAN I HELP IT? Anne just called out her mother. Oh god, this is like community college coffeehouse awkward.

Tom Hanks to present the award for art direction. Nominees are ALICE IN WONDERLAND, HARRY POTTER, INCEPTION, THE KING'S SPEECH, and TRUE GRIT. The winner is ALICE IN WONDERLAND.

I didn't like that movie. Tim Burton needs to stop with the daddy issues and the effing up of classics. I'm always worried when two people go up to accept the award. I'm always worried the second person won't be able to talk. Shore nuff, that asshole didn't let the woman talk.

Cinematography: BLACK SWAN, INCEPTION, THE KING'S SPEECH, THE SOCIAL NETWORK, and TRUE GRIT. The winner is INCEPTION. Yay! INCEPTION gets some props. Enjoy it; it's probably the only one.

I don't think I'll be able to type all the awards. I have the biggies in a separate doc, and I'm sweating keeping up with the announcements.

Commercial. Post and another drink!