CAN'T HARDLY WAIT- the end

Denise and Preston outside the diner, summing up the night. Kenny with whipped cream on his nose (heart). Denise admits that fate exists, and Preston drives off to the train station to his summer workshop with Kurt Vonnegut (I'm a little sad).

Nearly everybody's plot points are wrapped up at the diner. Yearbook Girl hooks up with Preston's cockblock friend. William thanks Mike for lying at the police station, and Mike starts to ridicule him. When William leaves, there's a freeze and a little "Where are They now?" caption that says he went to Harvard, was popular, and became a computer millionaire (what about when the bubble burst?) with a supermodel girlfriend. I think the first "Where are They now?" that I saw was at the end of ANIMAL HOUSE. Senator Blutarsky- funny.

Mike ended up losing his football scholarship (why was he afraid of being a loser?) and gets fired from his job at the car wash.

When did Denise change her clothes? The caption says she dumps Kenny five minutes later. Then ten minutes later, they find a bathroom and get back together. Denise reaches her finger into Kenny's whipped cream and sucks it off. Kenny has an immediate reaction, and I love that reaction. Because it's Seth Green and he does good turned on.

At the train station: A voice from behind Preston says, "Excuse me, I think you dropped this." We can tell the Love Hewitt is a new woman because her hair is pulled into a kind of school-marm do on top with the back down. She thanks him with all the sincerity her paltry acting skills can muster. They shake hands because he has to go. She walks away, pausing to turn back, he turns back, then drops his bags and runs after her. There's a later train he can take and he wants to embrace his fate- even if it's with the Love Hewitt. I am not watching their kiss for tongue. I don't want to know.

Their caption says he took a train seven hours later and they're still together. That's why movies are better than real life.

AAHHH! I forgot the X-Philes get beamed up onto a spacecraft. Everyone gets their happy ending, except when they're deserving of a comeuppance. Actually, Mike's the only one who gets an unhappy ever after. Even Klepto-kid got a gumball machine.

Whatever happened to Smashmouth?