Stop me before I shop again

Tattoo Queen turned me on to Zappos, and the minute I saw the hundreds of clogs available, I was hooked as surely as the first time I did heroin.*

I wear clogs because they give me the sense of height without the treachery of stilettos. They are my go-to shoe for school.

I bought a nice pair and saw another that completely captivated me. They were Harley Davidson clogs with studs on the heel, a big-ass S&M buckle, and four inches of towering goodness. Ugly? Yes. Incredibly fierce? Yes, yes, yes.



Then when I went for a comfort browse through the selection yesterday afternoon, I noticed the pair didn't have my size anymore.

I DIDN'T KNOW THE STYLE COULD SELL OUT!

(My feet make me kin to Sasquatch. I find it weird that the shoes sold out because that means that big-footed women and great minds think alike).

In a panic, I scoured the sight for similar models and latched onto another Harley Davidson pair. Similarities: black leather, big-ass S&M buckle, and studs- on the sides, not on the heel. Differences: the aforementioned stud placement, three inch heel (instead of four inches, which would've been the death of me), and the Harley Davidson logo on the inside, outside, and on the sole. Which means I could step on someone's neck and leave a lasting imprint.

I'm a little worried about the money I'm spending on shoes. I bought four pairs this year- two in the last month- and I'm afraid it's the first step down a slippery slope, which ain't good because I'm wearing heels.**

Questions I ask before I make a big purchase: Does it come in my size or preference? Can I afford this? Do I truly want this? Am I going to use this? No really, am I going to use this to a consistent degree? Do I deserve this?

The last question is a stumper and serves to weed out most impulses. In order to answer correctly, I need to come up with a few achievements (yesterday's were finishing my correcting on Friday, making two tests yesterday morning, writing the finals for my classes yesterday morning, and cleaning out my closet) and can't have any major screw-ups to mess with the balance.

I don't want to be one of those women you see on TV: The ones who use shopping as therapy and spend themselves and their families into the poorhouse. My evil former sister-in-law is one of them, and the less I have in common with her, the better.

Four pairs of shoes is a banner fucking year for me, and buying shoes that I like- not for how long they'll last or for their utility- is a huge deal. I'm just afraid a year from now I'll be fathoms in debt and nothing to show for it except a closet full of shoes.









*I meant heroine, as in the first time I saw a kick-ass woman save the universe (Ripley from ALIENS- not so much the "Let me take off my clothes and show my seventies undies even though the music should be telling me to look for that mothereffing alien" Ripley from ALIEN).

**I'm going to try to hold off on the shoe puns.